Now that I've finished my second year at university, which I still cannot believe, I've been looking back at my year a lot. All the things I've experienced, the people I've met, friends that I now have for life. However, this year stands out so much more than last year and the years before. It's been a roller-coaster ride - seriously. I have met two guys, completely opposite each other. Guys I never thought would contribute to my roller-coaster year. Two guys who I thought were decent guys. One guy meant more while the other was nothing but a big mistake. I fell for the feeling of being loved...twice. And I lost...twice.
But I'm happy. They contributed to my life for a reason. I got experience and grew - I'm stronger and wiser than I was 6 months ago. I cannot believe the amount I've evolved in 6 months. I lost a best friend. I found love. I definitely lost myself. Sometimes it makes me a bit sick how much bad stuff I've been through this year, but at the same time I'm okay with it. It happened for a reason. I learned everything from it and now I'm capable of so many things I was not capable of a year ago. For a period of time I lost interest in a lot of things I used to love, like blogging. But now that summer is here, I'm back. And I embrace everything. I will make my own happiness.
My life used to revolve around love. To be in love or lack of love. However, I don't want it, none of it. Not right now at least. Of course I loved it when someone I loved loved me back. It was a good feeling, extraordinary feeling. It was the best of my life, but it was also the lowest of my life. That is why I don't want it. I'm not a fan of it.
To love is to lose.